I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
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After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
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I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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