Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
