is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
