I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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