if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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