if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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