just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
