your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
he had hair everywhere except his balls
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
