After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
