my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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