shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You were trust falling into bushes
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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