I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
