remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.â€
Randomize
