He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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