i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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