Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
