I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
