I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
