Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
