Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
