ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
