she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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