You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
this will be a night to untag.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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