shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
