During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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