we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize