thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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