I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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