and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize