I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
