can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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