It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
