I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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