Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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