Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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