Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
