FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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