The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
