sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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