M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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