How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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