new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
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