What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
