Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
