Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
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