Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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