you guys were way drunker than both of me
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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