she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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