she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
