I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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