Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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