Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
